Although, it didn’t start out that way.
I woke up early with the sun.
Ground my coffee beans.
Savoured my Sunday coffee.
Took my time.
I went to work before 8 am.
Listened to wonderful tunes
during the country road drive.
I Sang along.
Not another car in sight.
I worked with a colleague that I’ve known
for nearly 20 years
We’ve worked in various departments together
Have seen each other through various transitions
Can often finish each others sentences
Are able to speak our truth
It was a Good Day
And even so
A few hours after
I arrived home
I cried
HARD
I’ve seen a lot of death
A lot of trauma
A lot of sadness
A lot of grieve
and
A lot of pain
Today
I Was privileged enough
to be brought into the circle of care
of a patient
That at this very moment
My heart breaks for…
For them
For their family
Their lives
Essentially
My heart hurts
for A stranger
and
Everyone who loves them
I do not bring my thoughts
of my occupation here
Often
And never like this
But yeah,
I'm going there...
If you have ever thought that a nurse goes into the profession
“For the money” like I have heard so many times in the past,
You are wrong.
First,
it is not that much money.
Not for what we see and the challenges that we face.
Second,
There is no amount of money
that could ever bandaid the hurt
that our hearts feel
for the strangers that we care for.
There is No crutch
No splint
No walking cast
No surgery
That protects us
Or heals us
from the bruises of this profession
Our day does not end
when we take off the scrubs
Or
when we leave the building
We go home
and
Think about you
Worry about you
Pray for you
Hope for you and
Cry for you
Our hearts our Big
Bruised perhaps
But BiG
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