184
That is the number of this post.
Although, it's only Day 183...
but I did a double post
one day
in May
while on Victoria Island.
I was super inspired.
And had a moment
worthy of a second post that day.
One Hundred & Eighty Four
184
1 + 8 + 4 = 13
Thirteen is my favourite number.
My lucky number.
My synchronicity.
13
1 + 3 = 4
Four.
Equally breaks down to 2.
Which brings me to TWO of my
favourite humans.
My Kids.
My Adults.
I often sit in disbelief
at the speed in which time
has
zoomed past.
I remember when I was younger
hearing
"one day you'll look back"
or
"time flies"...
We've all been told this.
I've rolled my eyes.
Hell, you probably did too.
BUT IT IS SO TRUE.
The realization
of this fact
always hits me a little harder
on a holiday.
I know I can't be the only one.
I sat outside last night watching
some beautifully grand
fireworks.
And had tears trickle down my cheeks.
Well,
they started as a trickle
then flowed
more like a steady stream.
I sat alone.
And I'm ok with that.
I enjoy my own company ~
how many can truly say that?
Our son is across the country
on the path
of living his best life.
And I love that for him!
Our daughter
in her studio
working on
her art.
Which I love for her!
My husband
is in bed
before 8:30 pm.
Which I don't love for him.
Because MS is a Bitch.
Truly nasty beast.
ANd that my friends
may be a reason that we may decline
your invite to an event.
Because his day almost always
ends early
& some days
it may not even really begin.
And at times
for us
it's too hard
to talk about
or admit the truth
of the burden of MS.
So it's harder to make a commitment
and then back out at the last minute
because to be truthful,
I don't feel everyone really gets it.
And some would be offended by a last minute cancellation.
And I don't have the emotional capacity
to take on
your resentment.
And that's ok for you to not get it,
It's not your journey.
Just the same,
I might not understand your personal struggles.
So I would never judge
any person declining an event.
Or cancelling.
So if we do the same,
don't judge us.
The chances are.
it really has nothing to do with you.
Cast your ego aside
and realize
it's Not
about you.
People usually have much more going on
in their lives
then you even realize.
You never truly know what is going on behind someone else's door.
Whoa,
that went way off into left field!
SO, back to the firework display...
Looking back on memories
of taking the kids
to Canada Day Events.
Sitting on a blanket
looking up at the sky
mesmerized by the bursts of light.
Our daughter plugging her ears to block out the sound.
People looking at her ~ well, judging her.
I'm glad the world has become
at least
a little kinder
to those on the Autism Spectrum.
Life can be cruel enough
without being judged
for the way you were born.
Life is cruel enough
without being judged
period
full stop.
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