I might need a vacation after this weekend.
Alone.
By myself.
With a book.
And a pen & paper.
And a beach.
With the sound of waves.
And some bubbly.
Not to celebrate.
Although I should be
after the News I received about Two of My Scripts over the week!
But I’m not.
Because of the affliction that has invaded my spouse.
It’s preventing any of that from happening.
And that’s Ok.
That's part of being in a relationship.
And I don’t really need to celebrate.
But what is Not Ok,
Is how the isolation-affliction process of a bored, lonely, irritable sickie is going.
"Just go to sleep" I keep telling him.
"Sleep it off".
"Rest".
PLEASE.
It’s Only Been THREE days.
And he's isolating downstairs,
so we're Not Even on the same floor of the house or even in the same rooms...
BUT I need to scream.
Or drink.
And I say that as a joke.
And I know it’s perhaps not funny to some.
And could be offensive.
But I don’t mean it any way other than
it just being something you say
when you're at your wits end.
Although that’s not a solution.
I know that.
So perhaps...
I need to Run away.
That’s not a solution either.
But it feels like it would be a fix.
For now.
At least for me.
You see…
I feel as if I’m living with toddlers.
Although I’m not.
And if I was,
I wouldn’t be so irritated.
Or emotionally and mentally exhausted.
Toddlers are messy
and sloppy and snotty.
That's just the way it is.
It's expected.
And somewhat cute.
But You see,
what is not cute
is that
He does not know how to close the lid
on the bottle
of very red,
very thick,
cough syrup.
And it's a Child-proof lid,
but he's Not a child.
And now that our daughter is ill,
she needed to take some of this thick,
sticky,
very red substance.
And so she shook the bottle ~ I guess to mix it up?
Did I teach her that?
I remember as a kid watching my Mom do that.
Did I teach that by osmosis?
Without even realizing it.
So is this ultimately my fault?!?!?!
For some reason,
after pouring some of this liquid for himself,
Grown Man didn’t actually put the childproof lid back on properly.
The groves of the lid & bottle were not connected.
The tongue & grooves were not…
Intact.
So our daughter shaking the bottle
caused said thick, red, sticky substance
to hurl itself all over white counter tops
& white walls
& down the sides of cabinets
& deep into the grooves of light-wash hardwood floors.
Just think about that for a moment.
Pause.
Take it in.
Visualize it.
And Now
You Must clearly understand,
Why I feel
the way
that I am feeling.
You get it.
You've been there.
In some form or another.
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