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Writer's picturejodi

Thoughts

Updated: Jun 8, 2022

I think we spend much of our lives wondering what other people think of us...

from a very young age.


Are my parents proud of me?

Do my teachers think I'm smart?

Do they think I run fast enough?

Does she like my hair?

Do they really think I fit into their group?

Do they like my clothes?

Does he think I'm cute?

Can he tell I haven't lost all of the baby weight?

Do they think I'm fat?

What do my kids think of me?

Do they think I'm a good mom?

DO they think that I'm chill enough?

Tough enough?

Good enough?


We spend so much time thinking about how others think about us?


To this day, I can still recall passive aggressive comments made by 'friends' as far back as high school that still jab at my self esteem.

And it makes me wonder,

if an external comment has that much impact,

(it's not because I'm weak ~ if that's where you were going)

how much do my own internal thoughts have on every part of my being?


What do I think of myself?


Does anyone ever sit and reflect on that?


My brother and I had a pretty deep conversation the other day about things that shape and mold us.

Things that foster and tarnish our viewpoint of ourselves.


I had an intense long winded conversation of similar topic with an old friend last week. I say 'old' in the context of how long that I've known this person, not in the context of our chronological ages but... in truth, we are getting up there.


With my own soul searching and these above mentioned discussions,

I've learned a lot about what I think of myself and what I thought of myself for many, many years.


And for most of those years,

the viewpoint from which I looked at myself,

was not too great.


And at the end of the day, for today at least,

I can say,

the light that I'm viewing myself in

is brighter than it has ever been before.


I hope you can learn to do the same for you.

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