A lot of us reflect on the current year as it is coming to an end.
I’m no different in that regard.
But I am different than I was when this year began.
And perhaps that is another thing that many see within themselves,
if so,
I truly hope that changes have been for the better.
My year started out strong.
My 5 am era.
Reflecting on the year, everyday.
Reflecting on each day every day.
My era of self care.
And not in a selfish way but in a truly take care of my mind and body type of way.
It was my year of yoga.
My year of Greens. being the first thing to hit my stomach every moring.
My year of meditation.
A year of gratefulness.
A year of goals.
A year of gratitude.
A year of joy.
It was a year of a full heart….
Our son coming home to visit.
A tropical family vacation with our family of four after nearly five years.
Attending an out of province film festival, where one of my scripts was a finalist.
Attending said festival with our son,
And then both of us spending time with my mom and my brother.
It was my year of appreciating the little things.
And the Big things.
My year of turning fifty.
And truly realizing for the first time in life that age truly doesn’t matter.
It was a year of true appreciation of the career I’ve been in for nearly 25 years,
And appreciating those I stand beside every day and those I have stood beside.
It was a year of beautiful connections. A year of reciprocated respect.
It was a year of patience.
A year that started out strong but started to landslide.
A year of dealing with things outside of my control.
A year of letting go of control.
A year of pain.
A year of falling.
A year of learning.
Learning that sometimes those who show up for you are not who you expected.
And a year of realizing that sometimes the ones you think will be there, are not.
It was a year of acceptance.
A year of learning that not every one has the same type of heart,
But also learning that some do.
A year of learning that love language is a real thing.
And that mine is not the only way,
It is just A way.
A year of outrageously feeling a deep love, gratitude and respect for my family and friends.
And friends who have become family. And family who are also friends.
It was a year of heart.
It was a year of hurt.
It was a year of loss.
Hard loss.
A loss that had me falter.
A loss that rocked me with so much grief.
Still rocks me, just not as constantly.
And everyday,
I still want to pick up the phone to call her.
Which I can't do.
So I find other ways.
It was a year of synchronicities
and teaching others to see them too.
It was a year of shifting.
Due to circumstance
or due to want
or due to need.
No matter the catalyst,
the shift and changes have occurred.
“They say” ...
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
But that saying feels too harsh to me now.
I’ll say...
Whatever harms you, hurts you, breaks you,
whatever holds you stagnant with the crush of it's weight,
makes you softer, calmer, wiser.
More conscientous. More accepting.
More invested. More intentional.
And makes Everything more meaningful.
It makes your vision clear.
It fills you with grace.
It makes your heart ache but it also makes it grow.
But then again, maybe that’s only me.
xo
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